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The Other Shoe
Dec. 5th, 2011 07:57 pm“Walk away from me.” Dean stares at the cracks in the glass that distort his face as the doctor’s shadow passes over them. He can barely feel the blood dripping down his knuckles or the sting of split skin. Nothing hurts as bad as seeing Bobby like this and nothing ever will. Dean knows because he’s felt this pain before. Saying that Bobby’s always alright doesn’t mean a damn thing. No one’s invincible, no matter how much they seem to be.
John survived more near death experiences than Dean can count. Ellen and Jo always managed to wiggle out of any trouble they ran into. Castiel came back from life twice. And where are they now? They’re gone, only to return in his nightmares and as shades to haunt him when he wakes. Just like every staple in his life, Bobby’s being torn away. The difference is, this time it’s not happening off-screen. Dean’s there to watch every second of his friend’s life fading.
Where’s the justice in this? Hasn’t he sacrificed enough? Why is it that every time he tries to build a family it crumbles like the Tower of freaking Babel? The only sure thing he has left is Sam, but for how much longer? Sam’s already died twice and every time he comes back he’s different. Dean’s seen him fidgeting with that scar on his hand which means two things- first, that he’s still waffling between two realities, and second, that he knows exactly which reality he wants to be in.
Dean pretends he doesn’t see, just like he always does. They both want to be in denial and both of them are too jaded for even that. Bobby, the last of their fractured little family is going to die and it’s not a possibility. No angels are coming to bring him back, no spell or crossroads deal is going fix that bullet in his brain, and no doctor can do a damn thing but make him comfortable and ask what they should do with his damn organs. He doesn’t care. The other shoe is hanging in the air about to hit the floor and all Dean can do now is wait for it to happen. Maybe it will hurt less now that he knows what to expect, now that he can prepare himself.
He doubts it.
John survived more near death experiences than Dean can count. Ellen and Jo always managed to wiggle out of any trouble they ran into. Castiel came back from life twice. And where are they now? They’re gone, only to return in his nightmares and as shades to haunt him when he wakes. Just like every staple in his life, Bobby’s being torn away. The difference is, this time it’s not happening off-screen. Dean’s there to watch every second of his friend’s life fading.
Where’s the justice in this? Hasn’t he sacrificed enough? Why is it that every time he tries to build a family it crumbles like the Tower of freaking Babel? The only sure thing he has left is Sam, but for how much longer? Sam’s already died twice and every time he comes back he’s different. Dean’s seen him fidgeting with that scar on his hand which means two things- first, that he’s still waffling between two realities, and second, that he knows exactly which reality he wants to be in.
Dean pretends he doesn’t see, just like he always does. They both want to be in denial and both of them are too jaded for even that. Bobby, the last of their fractured little family is going to die and it’s not a possibility. No angels are coming to bring him back, no spell or crossroads deal is going fix that bullet in his brain, and no doctor can do a damn thing but make him comfortable and ask what they should do with his damn organs. He doesn’t care. The other shoe is hanging in the air about to hit the floor and all Dean can do now is wait for it to happen. Maybe it will hurt less now that he knows what to expect, now that he can prepare himself.
He doubts it.
